Building Relationships of Trust: Practical Tips for Lasting Relationships

No man is an island - this is not just a random proverb. We all live and function within a complex network of various relationships: personal, business, romantic, familial, etc. Some of these relationships bring happiness into our lives, while others aren't so satisfactory. But what separates a good relationship from a bad one? The answer is simpler than you might think: trust.

As a matter of fact, trust is a crucial aspect of every relationship. Without it, you can never establish a meaningful connection. However, trust isn't something that you acquire effortlessly. It is something that you build through hard work and patience. Here are our tips for building trust that could help you establish trust with people around you.

Mutual Trust at the Core of All Successful Relationships

Before we start giving you tips, let's make a brief detour and explain why trust matters so much, not only in your personal relationships but also in the professional context:

Building Trust in Your Personal Relationships

Do you trust your friends, family members, or romantic partner/spouse? If the answer is yes, you are a lucky person. This means you are surrounded and loved by people whom you can trust, and who can trust you. No matter what happens, you will be there for each other.

Trust is especially important in romantic relationships because they are more prone to jealousy and betrayal. Regardless of how much in love you are in someone, your relationship won't last if you can't trust each other.

Building Trust in a Workplace

Trust is also important for professional relationships. At work, you are partnering with others in order to accomplish shared goals. To accomplish those goals, you need to be on the same page, making sure everyone works for the common good instead of their own interests. This also requires trust, especially when there is money involved. Would you put your career and finances into the hands of someone you don't trust? Of course not!

What Makes a Healthy Relationship Full of Trust

Now that it is obvious why trust matters in every aspect of your life let's see how to build a trusting relationship. Obviously, such a relationship can't happen automatically; you need to work hard on nurturing such relationships with both your actions and your words.

There are several key factors or, better said, elements that are necessary to build such relationships. Down below, you can learn more about each one of them:

Promote Open Communication

One of the most important tools of building trust is an open and clear communication. By communicating your thoughts, opinions, plans, and feelings effectively, you are showing that you can be trusted while also encouraging the other side to be more open and honest.

Through effective communication, you will also reach common ground more quickly, which is another important element of building trust. When you and the other side have something in common, you will start to trust each other even more.

On the other side, poor communication can do quite the opposite. Even if neither you nor the other side have something to hide, you will find it hard to trust each other if you can't communicate your thoughts and feelings.

Bonus tip: maintain eye contact when talking to people, as it will signal that you are honest and trustworthy.

Nourish a Mutual Respect

Mutual understanding and respect go hand in hand, and together, they are a strong foundation for building trust. Show respect towards everyone around you, and they will start to feel valued and comfortable in your presence. This will create a sense of trust in you.

Respect Personal Boundaries

Apart from showing general respect, you also need to practice respecting boundaries. Nothing can make us feel betrayed, insulted, and violated, like when someone crosses our boundaries. We automatically start to dislike and distrust such a person, even if that was their only overstepping.

Encourage Reliable Behavior

Actions speak louder than words, and that's why you need to ensure that your actions align with what you say. For example, if you speak openly against cigarettes and smokers, but you also smoke, it will not only be hypocritical but will also make you look like your words can't be trusted.

Also, your actions need to be consistent. You see, consistent actions show that you have a certain set of values that you follow and respect. They make you look reliable and dependable - someone who can be trusted.

Keep Your Promises (and Demand Others to Do the Same)

Many trust issues stem from broken promises. When someone promises one thing yet does something different, it's hard to trust them again. That's why you should always keep your promises. You also need to be careful what you promise and try not to overpromise. When you are reasonable with your promises, it is much easier to keep them.

Practice Active Listening

Communication is a two way street. To make a relationship work, you shouldn't be solely focused on what you have to say but also on what others have to say. Show people around you that you are interested in their thoughts and opinions.

When they talk to you about something, listen to them carefully. Ask questions that show you are listening actively. This will make the other person feel valued, and it will also help avoid misunderstandings. So, don't just wait for your turn to speak - listen to others and what they have to say.

Learn to Trust Others

Surprisingly, one of the hardest parts of building trusting relationships is learning how to trust others. That always carries a certain amount of risk that we will be hurt or betrayed. Most of us have gone through such a situation at least once, so it makes no wonder that we can be too cautious and skeptical.

Yet, you need to overcome that skepticism and caution in order to connect with people and trust them. Sure, some will betray your trust or disappoint you in another way. Still, others will prove worthy of your trust, and you will be happy that you gave them a chance.

Stay Calm Even When It's Hard

How do you react when things aren't going as you planned? Are you yelling, throwing things around, cursing? Or are you calm and composed, trying to come up with the best plan to overcome the obstacles ahead of you? If the former is the case, think about changing your approach.

When you react aggressively (or even violently) when things aren't going great for you, people will feel weirded out and intimidated. They will see you as unpredictable and less trustworthy. So, try to react appropriately the next time you are faced with a problem - it will be better for you, but it will also make people trust you more.

Rebuild Trust

Now, what should you do if the trust is already lost? Many things can erode trust - lies, cheating, broken promises, gossip, etc. While it takes a long time to build trust, one mistake can ruin everything. However, that doesn't mean that all is lost.

In many situations, you will be able to rebuild trust if you try hard enough. Of course, if the other side doesn't want to repair what has been broken, you can't force them. Respect their wishes. Insisting on trying one more time can only make things worse.

Admit Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone is willing to admit it. Many people don't want to admit they were wrong because their ego doesn't allow them or because they are afraid of potential consequences. Yet, being able to admit your mistakes can make you look more trustworthy.

If you are transparent about your mistakes, flaws, and other shortcomings, people around you will start to trust you more. Obviously, you shouldn't admit your mistakes just to make people trust you, but because it is the right thing to do. Still, it is undeniable that doing that can help you build relationships of trust.

Forgive and Forget

Other people will also make mistakes. Some of those mistakes will be unforgivable, and it is understandable that you won't be able to forgive them. However, many mistakes aren't that bad, and maybe you should forgive them, given that they won't repeat.

Of course, it is all up to you to decide what's forgivable and what's not. The point is, if you decide to forgive some minor mistakes while also owning up to your mistakes, you will build a lasting and trusting relationship.

Ask for Help and Offer Help

Are you too proud to ask for help when you are struggling? Well, you're not the only one, but it is a huge mistake. Maybe you are afraid that people will refuse to help you or that they will think you are a failure, but you are looking at things from the wrong perspective. Most people will be more than happy to help you, and it will only bring you closer.

Also, if you see that someone else is struggling, offer to help. Maybe you won't be able to resolve their issue, but you can at least listen and provide a crying shoulder. Sometimes, that's the best help you can provide. It's also a great opportunity to become closer with someone and build trust.

Things Not to Do

As usual, when there are things you should do to achieve something, there are also things you shouldn't do. The abovementioned things will help you build trust, but let's focus now on things that will do quite the opposite. Here is what not to do when building relationships of trust:

Don't Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable

We have already mentioned that many people try to protect their ego and their pride by never admitting their mistakes. Another thing that they do is avoiding to be vulnerable in front of others. When you never allow yourself to be vulnerable and show your soft side in front of people around you, they will notice it.

It's like you are building a wall between you and everyone else. Sure, you can still have meaningful and satisfactory relationships, but they will never be as deep and trusting as they could be. Because you avoid being vulnerable, you never show your true self, and that will sabotage all your attempts at building trust.

Don't Lie, Even When Truth Isn't Comfortable

This one is pretty obvious, but many people tend to "forget" it. The worst part is that most people don't lie out of malice, but because they think they are doing the right thing. For example, your friend might ask you if they look nice in a certain dress. The dress looks hideous on them, but you say it looks great because you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings. However, wouldn't it be better if you told your friend the dress isn't that great and offered to help them find a better one?

This might seem like a trivial example, but that's how many people tell lies. You say one small lie after another, and your friend realizes they can no longer trust your judgment and your words. Even worse, they start to think you are lying to them because you aren't their true friend. No matter how insignificant they might seem, even the smallest lies can have serious consequences.

Don't Be Selfish

One common mistake that many people make is that they put their personal interests over everything else. Sure, it is completely okay to have your personal goals/interests and to pursue them, but you shouldn't do it at the expense of others. Also, many times, our personal interests clash with those of the greater good. If we are never willing to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good, people will start to see us as selfish.

Obviously, selfish people aren't deemed as trustworthy. Why would someone trust you if they felt you would betray them the first chance it suited you? Instead, show that you care about the others just like you care about yourself. Prove that you would be willing to sacrifice some things for the greater good or to help someone.

What About the People Around You?

While reading this article, you probably noticed that most of these tips are focused on what you should or shouldn't do. But what about the others? After all, other people should also work on earning your trust. That's true, but you can only work on yourself and change yourself. You can't change others or force them to change. So, focus on yourself, be the best version of yourself, and the right people will know how to appreciate it.

Conclusion

Following the tips from this article will certainly help you build trust with your friends, family, partner, and even work colleagues or business partners. Still, you need to remember one thing: trust takes time, and it's not like a video game where you push the right buttons and get what you want. Relationships are far more complex and nuanced than that.

So, don't be discouraged even if your efforts aren't yielding the expected results. Stay patient, stay persistent, and try to be the best version of yourself. The people who are worthy of your trust will be able to recognize, appreciate, and reciprocate your efforts!

Frequently Asked Questions

How Can I Build Trust in a New Relationship?

Starting a new relationship is a perfect opportunity to start from a blank page without past mistakes haunting you. Use this opportunity to set clear boundaries and build stable foundations for a trusting relationship. Openly communicate your expectations and what you can bring to the table. Emphasize that you can be trusted but that you also want to be able to trust the other side. Follow the advice from this article.

Why Is Trust Important in Relationships?

All relationships, whether personal or professional, exist for one main reason - to be able to rely on someone. However, you can't rely on someone whom you can't trust, and your relationship will quickly become strained and stressful for everyone involved. On the other side, when you can trust people around you, you feel more secure, comfortable, and confident. No matter what happens, you will have people who will support you and work in your best interest.

What Are Common Behaviors That Damage Trust?

There are many things that can damage or break trust, and they can even differ from one person to another. Still, there are some things that will break trust, no matter the situation, type of relationship, and sides that are involved. For example, telling lies or withholding the truth will certainly damage the trust between you and another person. Cheating on your romantic partner is also another sign that you can't be trusted, and it is probably the worst type of betrayal.